


Debrief

by Scattyuk



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28050369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scattyuk/pseuds/Scattyuk
Summary: Buffy gave a hint of a smile. “So it’s just us til then.”“Seems like it.” He sucked his teeth and then added, “Bit of quality time, eh?”“Guess so.”“How‘ve you been?”“Drowning in baby slayers. Fighting demons. The usual. You?”“Dead. Then not so dead. Then apocalypse.”——————Some conversations that needed to be had.Compliant for the TV shows, ignores the comics.
Relationships: Angel/Buffy Summers, Spike/Buffy Summers
Kudos: 15





	Debrief

In the half light of a single fluorescent bulb, Buffy paced the room one more time, failing to find anything that could be an escape. She slumped to perch on a pile of rubble where the real exit should have been.

“They’ll find us eventually,” she said, almost sounding like she believed it.

“Course they will,” Spike said from his spot on the floor by the opposite wall. “You know Red will have made it through that carnage if anyone has, and she’d open the Earth itself to find you.”

Buffy gave a hint of a smile. “So it’s just us til then.”

“Seems like it.” He sucked his teeth and then added, “Bit of quality time, eh?”

“Guess so.”

“How‘ve you been?”

“Drowning in baby slayers. Fighting demons. The usual. You?”

“Dead. Then not so dead. Then apocalypse.”

“Yeah, I … I heard. About the not-dead thing.”

“Mmm. Thought you might have wanted to say hi. Or somethin’. After I died saving the world an’ all.”

Buffy looked guilty. “Yeah, I probably should have. I wasn’t sure – I mean, I had a lot of thinking to do.”

“Oh well, I can see that might have taken you a while.” It should have been a dig, but there was no malice in his voice. Buffy looked at him for a long moment.

“Did you really-“ she started and then broke off looking uncertain.

“Did I really what?”

“When - when you were, you know, evil you. Before the soul. Did you really actually ... _love_ me?”

“What? Telling you a thousand times didn’t make it sink in?”

“I - I know you _said_ it often enough. Sang it even. But I was never sure if - if it was the same, you know?” She rubbed her arms as if she were cold. “When Angel lost his soul he hated me.”

“He was obsessed with you, pet. Couldn’t let go.”

“So is that was it was for you? Before?”

He looked away for a moment and then said, “Did I ever tell you about my old mum?”

“You changed her. You were trying to save her.”

“Yeah. I didn’t go full demonic evil until she turned against me. And even then it was just that I really really liked killing. But I’m not like Angel. That Judge fellow we put together back in the day could see it. Smell it, whatever. He weren’t wrong. With or without a soul, I could still feel like some people just ... belonged. Some people felt like home.”

“Like Drusilla?”

“Yeah, there was a pretty long time there where Dru felt like the only home I could have. And then she left. And then somehow there was you.”

“Not Harmony?” She asked with a small faux-innocent smirk,

He looked at her in appalled horror. “Come on, credit me with  _ some _ sense, will you.”

“Well, I mean, I would,” she said dryly, “but from what I heard you didn’t exercise a great deal of it at Wolfram and Hart.”

He rolled his eyes. “It was ... convenient! Or not, as it turned out. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re pursing your lips like that, Miss Off Shagging the Immortal,” he said, crossing his arms. “You know he made off with Darla and Dru back in the day? Bloody bollocking arsehole.”

“He was … also convenient. Conveniently unkillable. I needed that kind of certainty for a little while there.”

“Well, shame the old almost apocalypse got in the way.”

Buffy look around at their surroundings. “Something always does, I guess.”

“Look Buffy, I get it,” he said. “Angel vanished into his evil twin, then died, then came back and left you anyway. Your dad never seemed to put in much effort, and I liked your mum. She couldn’t help dying. But she did. I know what that’s like, to need people who can stick around. And that’s before you add in the whole being dead yourself thing. We both know how hard that was to come back from.”

She flinched. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything I did to you then. I convinced myself that because you weren’t human, nothing I said or did mattered. So I let out all my worst feelings, right at you.”

“Way I see it, I was the one you felt safe to be with like that.”

“That’s ... a generous way of putting it.”

“Buffy... I spent a hundred years with a woman who learned about love from Angel at his worst. Believe me, love, you’re nowhere near the top of the list when it comes to emotionally abusive exes.”

“I let everyone believe that ... that it was you who hurt me, that I ... hadn’t done the same to you.”

“Yeah, you did. And I was so bloody mad at you, I went to get my chip removed and got a soul instead. And that moment where they did it, where they fixed me. I’ve been thinking a lot, pet, and I think they could see more of my thoughts than I could, you know? Think maybe I wanted it deep down. The demon who made the streets of Prague run red with blood had finally seen something that made him want to go back to who he’d been.” She ducked her head and he sighed. “So to answer your first question - yes. I think I really did love you, in my own twisted way.”

“And after?” Her voice was faint.

“Yes,” he said. “I still loved you after. Why else did that ... _ thing _ try to look like you?”

She stood slowly, and walked over to gently press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

He rested his head against hers. “Don’t be, Pet. I gave as good as I got.” They stayed like that a moment and then he reached up to brush a lock of hair back behind her ear, leaning to kiss her softly on the lips. “Look, just so you know, I’m not going to hold you to anything you might have said when you thought you’d never see me again.”

She looked reflexively down. “I know you wouldn’t.” And then her eyes rose back to meet his. “You’re a good person, without the blood lust and torture. Maybe you always were.”

His mouth quirked. “I wouldn’t go that far. Come on,” he gave a tug to draw her from her knees to turn and lean back against his wall, one arm circling her. “Reckon we’ve got a while to wait yet. Might as well sit comfy til then.”


End file.
